Is anyone there?
I realize that no-one is likely to read this and whilst this is a shame (could be fascinating reading !) I recognize that I was writing this more to acquaint myself with blogging, and express myself with hopefully a bit of pizzazz.
Today I loved walking alone with the dog in cool of late afternoon. A guilty pleasure knowing that kids and adults could have used my help back at the ranch but I had pretty much had them (single-handedly at least half of that time) for 10 hours straight. I'm sure I was less jumpy after the event although I was dragging my feet home. Now- you are going to hate me starting on the negative but all that effort to get a bottle of wine and I made a terrible choice- sparkling Shiraz. Laugh that my mother in law told me how much she liked it three times over but I was not reassured. In fact I tipped half the undrunk glasses down the drain and hope the sparkle will drift out of the remainder.
Positives today? Coffee and walk brief but worthwhile early in the morning although I was trying to shake off grumpiness...now I am embarrassed by the cloud I let fall on me. Mind you hubby and I had been up half the night feeling unsettled and the four year old made sleep-in a no-go, for me at least.
Family members, adult and children alike, let each other know in no uncertain terms what was inappropriate about their behavior - now you can appreciate why I felt a little jumpy . Defend one yet be loyal to another; having compassion from either perspective; being instructed what to accept and what not to...I was already physically tired and I found myself wanting to back off more and more and stop talking completely . I doubt they realize the stain these words leave on the kids and myself especially . I don't know what the right or wise thing to do is often. How to reconcile it? It's easier and better maybe to just shrug it off and change the subject; to look forward.
What my 10 yr old shares with me and I want to forget the hurtful remarks as I know it was not intentional - he was just trying to express his feelings. Disclosure leaves me weighted with responsibility though to try and create a better future for him. How to get family members involved is a puzzle ...might be the right piece but not presented in the right way and if forced, it simply won't fit.
I applied for another job today and started dreaming of how I could love it. I wonder if my 'mature' age works against me. I would have thought that improves the stakes in jobs that require interpersonal skills and ability to mix with a variety of ethnicities and ages.
Again I add a photo to remember good times: this is my Aunty teaching our two youngest craft at the museum . I long to see her soon...she is a comfort to me.
Today I loved walking alone with the dog in cool of late afternoon. A guilty pleasure knowing that kids and adults could have used my help back at the ranch but I had pretty much had them (single-handedly at least half of that time) for 10 hours straight. I'm sure I was less jumpy after the event although I was dragging my feet home. Now- you are going to hate me starting on the negative but all that effort to get a bottle of wine and I made a terrible choice- sparkling Shiraz. Laugh that my mother in law told me how much she liked it three times over but I was not reassured. In fact I tipped half the undrunk glasses down the drain and hope the sparkle will drift out of the remainder.
Positives today? Coffee and walk brief but worthwhile early in the morning although I was trying to shake off grumpiness...now I am embarrassed by the cloud I let fall on me. Mind you hubby and I had been up half the night feeling unsettled and the four year old made sleep-in a no-go, for me at least.
Family members, adult and children alike, let each other know in no uncertain terms what was inappropriate about their behavior - now you can appreciate why I felt a little jumpy . Defend one yet be loyal to another; having compassion from either perspective; being instructed what to accept and what not to...I was already physically tired and I found myself wanting to back off more and more and stop talking completely . I doubt they realize the stain these words leave on the kids and myself especially . I don't know what the right or wise thing to do is often. How to reconcile it? It's easier and better maybe to just shrug it off and change the subject; to look forward.
What my 10 yr old shares with me and I want to forget the hurtful remarks as I know it was not intentional - he was just trying to express his feelings. Disclosure leaves me weighted with responsibility though to try and create a better future for him. How to get family members involved is a puzzle ...might be the right piece but not presented in the right way and if forced, it simply won't fit.
I applied for another job today and started dreaming of how I could love it. I wonder if my 'mature' age works against me. I would have thought that improves the stakes in jobs that require interpersonal skills and ability to mix with a variety of ethnicities and ages.
Again I add a photo to remember good times: this is my Aunty teaching our two youngest craft at the museum . I long to see her soon...she is a comfort to me.
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